Today my friend Elaine graciously agreed to share a post here on my space. Even though I asked her to do this in the middle of cold season when she and her husband were moving out of their apartment, with their toddler. Soooo she’s pretty much Superwoman.
You know how you marry into certain other things when you marry your spouse? You know, the in-laws, sports teams, his friends, etc.. I married into Craig’s group of friends who have all been together since kindergarten. They’re now all grown up and being in each others’ weddings and being godparents of each others’ children, it’s pretty sweet. Elaine also grew up with the gang, and ended up dating and marrying one of them as well. Like in-laws, I inherited them, and through them Elaine, and I’m so glad I did!
I love what she shares about the importance of our tribe…no matter what it looks like!
I have to admit, I did not immediately love the whole “Mom Tribe” thing that has cropped up on every mommy blog recently. It felt forced and stereotypical. Moms can’t just have friends?
I started to think about my own tribe . . . or even if I had one. Does my life look like any of those stock photos that Mom Tribe articles use? A circle of five or more terribly cool looking moms laughing as their kids play quietly in adorably coordinated outfits—no. It is rare that I get to have more than a couple of my super-close mom friends together at once, and we are usually doing much more mom-ish things: chasing kids, filling snack cups, yelling “don’t put your mouth on that!”
I have mom friends, but would I say I am close enough to them to call us a “tribe”? Maybe only a handful. And even then, some of them aren’t close to each other, so does that really count? I don’t know. No one has written the rulebook on Moms Tribes yet.
What I know is this: Do I have someone I can call in the middle of the night about a completely ridiculous question who will give me an honest and supportive answer? Do I have a friend who understands just how important it is to get out without the kids and (more importantly) will not judge me for wanting to leave the light of my life at home for a couple hours so I can wear earrings and heels and feel like Elaine instead of Mom? Do I have women in my life who get me and get my struggles, even if they are vastly different than their own (and maybe even self-imposed)? Yes. Yes all around. And, to me, that is what makes a difference.
Call it what you want, BFFs, tribe, group, but as long as you have those strong women there when you need them, that is what matters. Regardless if there are two or twenty women in your life you can call on, appreciate them and reciprocate. We are all in this together, and it is much more fun to go through this crazy, magical journey together than to try and hike it solo.